Monday, November 12, 2012

Goodbye.

It all started with a couple of words:

"Well, all I know is that I want to take a look back at 2010.
What a year that was. So much happened, everything changed. I became the Kelsey Edwards that I am today. And that's not to say that that came easily.


And it ended with 664 published posts. Over 250,000 total views. Over 500 viewers a day. And a new perspective on life.

My blog.

A day in the life of Kelsey Edwards.

This post is probably the hardest I have ever had to write, and I've written about my depression, eating disorders, broken heart, obsession with the Jonas Brothers and bullying (and lets not forget about all the AWESOME AND HAPPY stuff I wrote about).. So to say this is my hardest post really means something.

My blog was my life and my soul. Everything you read came straight from my heart. The pain you read about was the pain I felt, and the joys you read - well, same thing. My blog saved me. It really did. Because it was never about needing to express my feelings on a piece of paper and have them somewhere other than my head.

It was all about you. My readers. My friends.

All I ever wanted from this blog was to help you guys out. To make you smile when you needed a laugh; to make you feel like you had a friend when everyone else was walking away; to make you feel less alone even though loneliness is all you ever felt; to help you realize that growing up, despite popular belief, is NOT easy; to help you realize the things you are going through are normal and you aren't a freak; and to realize that it gets better.

All I ever wanted to do was help. Even if my blog touched just one person's life I feel like it was a success. That's all this ever was. And I feel like it did a really good job. And truly, it touched my life. It changed me. It made me think deeper, like really deep, into those thoughts that sometimes you don't want to think. But it also made me a more empathetic person, what would my readers find beneficial? What can I do to help put a smile on someone's face today?

This whole blog was a crazy ride, and it started because I have always been a girl with a thousand thoughts and a thousand struggles - and I thought if I could use my experiences to help someone get through life a little easier, well why wouldn't I?

And I am not ending my blog because I don't want to help anymore. But because I have shared my story. I have over 600 posts to prove it. My blog will always be here to help those who need it. As will I. You just have to come and find me in a different way.

I am in a phase of my life where I don't know where I am going or where I am going to end up, which is so exciting, terrifying and exhausting. And it leaves me with little to say. Right now I have to focus on me, and getting myself to where I need to be.

I am so broken hearted saying goodbye to my blog.

But it really isn't a goodbye. Not really. It's just a "see ya later".

I will always have something to say and I will always have a story to share, but for now - I am taking a break.

I really want to say thank you to everyone who has made this blog experience so amazing for me. Thank you so much for reading. You don't even know, putting my heart out there is so hard because it is so easy to stomp it when it is out there in the open (which people did), but that never mattered. All that mattered was the people that took something away from my blog.

So I want to leave you with one last thought:

Remember, life is hard no matter what hand you are given. But you are always given choices - you can throw in the towel and let life walk all over you, or you can fight for a good life. You can fight for your dreams, the things you love and desire.. and find that life is a lot like a rollarcoaster. There are ups and downs, and at times it gets a little scary and you want it all to end - but at the end of it all, it leaves you feeling so proud, so accomplished and like you overcame something huge - and that feeling is worth everything.

We are born to die. But we are meant to live.