Sunday, September 30, 2012

work vs school

Both are hard. But here is what I have found to be the BIGGEST difference between working and being in school.


I believe I feel like I have less free time as a full time worker. Whatever though, that isn't the biggest thing.

The biggest part about time is that it goes by in a way where you don't realize it going away.

Last year in school the month of september to right now went by, and there were always little landmarks (i.e. assignment due this day, potluck THIS day, quiz this day) and so I realized at least where the time was, and where it was going to.

When I am working nothing is different from day to day. Work this day, work this day, work this day. The days blend together a lot more. Thanksgiving is next weekend and last year at school it felt like so much happened before thanksgiving weekend approached. Now it is like..

its thanksgiving already?


I don't know if that makes sense, its just like weird.

Because time away goes by at the same speed. But at least in school there are landmarks and the days are never the same. With work - it is such a routine that things just blend and time just mashes and all of a sudden its gone.

Saturday, September 29, 2012

34 things I miss about being a kid!

1. Cartwheeling just because I liked it. i.e. in church, during class, wherever I wanted.

2. Someone else cleaning up after me. And doing my laundry.

3. Falling down and the worst thing being a band aid needed. Rather than needing a chiropractor.

4. Not worrying about calories, if this would make me fat.

5. Getting a toy with a meal and LOVING THE SHIT OUTTA THAT TOY. Like it was the best present in the entire world, regardless of how cheaply it was made.

6. Not being tired all the time.

7. Laughing out loud for no reason and no one thinking it was crazy.

8. Never feeling guilty about eating Taco Bell. And ordering what I wanted (2 orders of cheese fries LOL) not what was healthiest.

9. Making friends so easily. Didn't matter what you looked like, how rich/poor you were, who your other friends were. We could be friends because we had things in common, and that was enough.

10. Wearing whatever the heck I wanted.

11. Going to school with cat whiskers painted on my face and it made me adorable, not a freak.

12. Racing EVERYWHERE. Just because.

13. Calling my friends, all the time. Just to talk. And having conversations. Deep little kid conversations. I can't even remember the last time I picked up the phone just to call a friend without planing it out or scheduling it.

14. No one held what you did a year ago against you.

15. Wearing my favourite outfit every single day and feeling beautiful in it. It didn't matter that I looked ridiculous, I didn't care. I felt gorgeous and like I could take over the world.

16. NINTENDO. I mean, I still have my super nintendo - but back then that shiz was revolutionary.

17. Making up a dance to every song I loved and having my parents praise every move like I was beyonce.

18. Thinking the world was such a good place, and being blissfully ignorant of all the things that would tell me otherwise.


20. Birthday parties.

21. Playing outside for hours on end. With my siblings, friends, or even by myself.

22. Thinking the word "penis" was the funniest thing in the world.

23. Being totally happy playing alone.

24. Never being alone because of an amazing imagination.

25. Doug/Rugrats/Sailor Moon.

26. Believing in everything.

27. Thinking eating 4 pieces of pizza was this huge amazing feat and being SO PROUD of that accomplishment. Rather than feeling like a guilty slob.

28. Not being controlled by my fears. Not even really HAVING fears at all.

29. Getting tea in a bottle. Amazing.

30. It didn't matter if my pants matched my shirt and if I was wearing the right accessories. No one cared.

31. Struggling to count to 100, and practicing so hard every day with your parents... and it being the greatest accomplishment in the world when you finally could do it on your own!

32. BEGGING my mom to make me "space mountains" on my ice cream cones.... and not realizing it was a clever way for her to steal bites of my ice cream.

33. Wearing a sailor moon tiara. Shit was fancy.

34. Being so excited to grow up.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Opportunities: Should we take them?

You may think that is just a sarcastic title, but it is a question that keeps coming up in my life and it is STRESSING ME OUT. It really isn't as intuitive an answer as you'd think.

Opportunities come along, sure, but how often do we really take them? Think of everything that has ever passed you by, and all the times you have said no. Big opportunities, and small - they come, they go - and usually we don't even know the better.

Why do we say no? Because sometimes it just doesn't make sense in our lives, sure. But mostly, we say no because we are scared. Scared of change. Scared of making mistakes. Scared. Straight up.

I don't want to get into details because I DONT EVEN KNOW REALLY, but a really amazing opportunity has come up in my life - and its actually stressed me out so terribly. Because, like I said, it is INCREDIBLE. But it is also terrifying, and would cause a huuuuuuuge lifestyle change.

Even if it is a temporary thing, it is still a huge change. But the scariest thing is that it could be such a good thing that it turns into something more, and all my plans about my life will be changed to fit with this opportunity.

So that could mean I wouldn't end up in Guelph with all my friends? Or even that I don't live close to my family? Or end up marrying Joe Jonas?

It is so scary to take an opportunity when you know how much it could change.

But here's the thing: we are so young, and really - now is the time. If something amazing comes along, it is almost crazy to pass it up. Because we are just getting started, and most of us are sitting around WAITING for life to start and being stressed because, well, it isn't.

I don't know.

Growing up is so so SOOOO hard. But it is so exciting.

We have to take a chance every once in a while, right?

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Things I Hate

Here is a list of the 10 things I hate the most. I hope you take something important away from this. I am sure you will. If you don't, I HATE THAT!

1) My sister lives about an hour away and I miss her all the time. I HATE THAT.

2) The fact that they don't even teach cursive writing to kids in school anymore. WHAT THE HECK IS THAT? Sure, we use the computer and whatever now - but THERE ARE CURSIVE FONTS. And it just makes the brain stronger and just, wtf. That means that when we are parents we are going to have a secret language that our kids won't understand when we are older.

3) Shaving. What a friggen bother. I am so clumsy that shaving becomes extra hard for me. I legitimately have to SIT DOWN in the shower to shave my legs because I have fallen far too many times trying to be a shaving acrobat. No.

4) I HATE THE FACT THAT I HAD AN IPHONE AND GOT TIRED OF IT AND GOT A BLACKBERRY. It is probably one of the most embarrassing things I have ever done. Derp. But I am back, so I don't hate that. I just hate that it ever happened.

5) The smell of fridges. Have you ever smelt a fridge that smelled good? No? Me neither. HATE THAT!

6) I am growing up and really confused what to do with my life. Everyday there are more options I know about, and this means more thoughts and more life changing decisions. I hate that. But I also hate that I am not brave enough to make these decisions myself. Grr.

7) I HATE THAT I AM MEETING THE JONAS BROTHERS BECAUSE IT MAKES ME PUKE/CRY EVERY DAY! (I use "hate" in the most loving sense for this particular post).

8) Making my parents disappointed or sad is something I hate. And I hate that I let it happen. And I hate even more that I think they are disappointed when really they aren't, and that I never feel good enough. Because that makes them sad I think that, and I hate making them sad. Le sigh.


10) I hate that I don't live in guelph with all my bestest friends. I hate that when I visit for a weekend its just a weekend... and I have to drive back when it's done. I hate that the most.

Monday, September 24, 2012


Here. Around. Just busy. And not even like I am doing stuff all the time busy.. but the kind of mentally busy that doesn't allow me to think clearly and write good blogs. So this is me saying IM STILL HERE, but I just have a mental block. I have so much excitement and thoughts I want to share with you all - so expect more soon. But for now I just am here to say hullo and i love you! and my friends. I had the best weekend ever with them. muah! xox

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

qod: incredibly loud and extremely close

“I felt, that night, on that stage, under that skull,

incredibly close to everything in the universe,

but also extremely alone.

I wondered, for the first time in my life:

if life was worth all the work it took to live?

What exactly made it worth it?

What's so horrible about being dead forever?

And not feeling anything? And not even dreaming?

What's so great about feeling and dreaming?”

- Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

you know my name, not my story

When people come out and tell their story, I find it so beyond moving that I usually cry. I just am so inspired and so proud, because they are doing something that I could never do.

That is why I love Demi Lovato so much, because what she did was so brave and so scary - but she did it because she knew it would make a difference. People make fun of her because of her struggles but I think those people need a punch in the face, because what she did not only changed the lives of girls - but it saved many, as well.

Everyone struggles, but it is so hard to put that struggle into words, let alone to put it out there for everyone to see.

This girl on X-Factor was amazing, and so brave. So brave. And when I watched it it made me sob, like soooobbbbb... because not only did she share her story with the world, but the world kind of got to see why Demi is my idol.

The impact she has made is so huge, and I don't think I could ever come out and do what she has done. It is so scary. Even though I have this blog and I talk about my feelings a lot, I have never been able to full out tell my entire story - because that is just so hard for me.

But what these girls do is so inspiring, and it really does help to know that we are not alone - and that we need to stay strong together.

You never know someone's story.

And if they are brave enough to put it out there - you never should punish them for it.

Monday, September 17, 2012

My "diet"

I eat what my body wants. I never limit ANYTHING because then I end up dying because its all I can think about and I end up planning my meals all the time, when I am at work, when I am reading, anything - I can't focus on anything but food.

Any diet does that to me, too.

Now I know about food and nutrition, I know what my body wants and what it needs and I try to meet those needs. And since having a healthier relationship with food I haven't struggled as much with body image or weight gain. I'm not saying that I am eating junk all the time, I eat very healthy - but its through a combination of knowing what nutrition my body requires, learning what food helps reach that, and what I crave.

A very close person in my life just lost a lot of weight due to changing her perspective on food - she stopped obsessing, she started losing (weight, that is).

ANYWAY. Thats my story and I am sticking to it.

But you know what? A CRAVING IS A FREAKING CRAVING. and I think if it lasts for more than a couple hours - even after you have drank lots of water and ate saistfying meals - I say go for it, because it will drive you bonkers if you dont.

I'm indulging in haagen dazs today. We all do it.
Just make it feel like a special occasion and you won't regret it.


Sunday, September 16, 2012

slipped away

it makes me sad to think of all the opportunities that could have been, but weren't.

Especially those people that we let slip away, and can't get back. The people where everything was so right, so real. Where everything felt perfect. Except the timing.

Life happens, it just does. But so does retrospect. And that can be a big bummer. Because you start the what ifs and you start to wonder if you would be a happier and better person if that person was still in your life.

I can't even call what I am feeling right now "regret" because it isn't. Life gets in the way and we can't help that. But I just feel mad, because sometimes I feel like things that were meant to be were stolen, not by a person, but just by life and the things that happened - and its not always someone's fault.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Best Compliment.

Today at work I got complimented on the one thing I really pride myself on - my attitude (the positivity aspect of it, anyway).

How many times have I blogged about the impact of a smile? Seriously, it is like the mantra of my life. You never know what a smile could mean to someone. And even if you are having a bad day, you don't ever need to put that bad day onto someone else's life. So just radiate love and you might get some back. Right?

Well its not like I am actively thinking about it at all times, but today at work a guy came up to me and was like

"Okay, well thanks for all your help. And I just want to say that I go to a lot of offices, and see a lot of people - and I think you have it right. Your positivity and kindness are so rare. I'm going to put in a good word for you!!" and then we started talking about what a difference a simple smile makes.

I just beamed ear to ear, because it wasn't like being kind and helping this guy was making me do something out of my way - it was my JOB, so I wasn't doing anything special.. and yet, it was special to him. And it made an impact.

Its just crazy how much of a habit happiness can be. You think of happiness as an emotion, but I think we have more power over it than we think.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Photo ID, Please.

So... Frankie to the rescue!

I had a package waiting for me at the post office at shoppers. I knew this because they sent me one of those slips that say "you have a package at shoppers". This is my second one in the week (I order online, all the time). I had already received my LED dog collar (yes, you heard that correctly) - so I knew this package would be my new bedset.

But, I am a lazy bum, and because I went downtown in Guelph TWO WEEKS AGO I still haven't moved my drivers license from my bar purse to my regular purse, so I just had my health card as ID. But when I got Frankie's collar it was no problem. But today I got sassed big time.

She was like "this doesn't have your address I can't give you your package".. and I was like ughhhhh commmmmmme on its obviously me! I know exactly whats in there c'monn c'monn c'monn. And she was very firm and just WOULDN'T give me my package because I didn't have an ID that had my address on it.

So, here I go fumbling through my wallet - when I realize I have Frankie's ID on me. So I was like, "well, I have my puppy's ID - which has both my name AND my address on it. So I think this should suffice" And EVERYONE in line laughed, and the girl was just like "well I can't say no to that face" (yes, Frankie has photo I.D.) and I got my package. THANKS FRANKIE!

Monday, September 10, 2012

Smell Ya Later!

Okay. So I love perfumes and scents, but I have a new favourite scent - one that has been in my life for a while but only in deodorant form.. So really, who gets obsessed with the smell of their deodorant?

Its the DOVE scent - pomegranate and lemon verbeena, and it smells so fresh and yet so feminine and pretty.

So I finally realized they created this smell in shampoo/conditioner form - and I am OBSESSSSSED. I wash my hair and I can't stop smelling it. Seriously.

When I am at work I often finding myself pulling at my hair and sniffing it big time. Sure, it's a little creepy.... but I just love it. meow.

Don't you love when you get something new and can REALLY smell it - that stage before you get used to it and it your sense of smell slowly numbs it out.

Anyway. If you want to smell delicious - get the Dove pomegranate/lemon verbeena shampoo/conditioner. While you are at it grab the deodorant and body spray! MMM! And voila - eau de kelso