Monday, August 6, 2012

WARNING: Tanning....... (a personal tale)

This blog is not about the dangers of tanning or skin cancer or whatever. I believe a tan is healthy and everyone should go out and get some vitamin D. Sunburns are bad, YES, avoid them. Put on sunscreen if you will be out for long periods of time etc etc.

But anyway, for you serious tanners (like me) out there, here is a warning so you don't end up with the world's most awkward sunburn like I do. When tanning outdoors, most of us will wear bathing suits. In Port Lambton, our dock is off of a public and busy road, so of course I am wearing a suit. However, no one likes tan lines - mine are admittedly terrifying, so I wanted to do something about it.

Yesterday, I decided while tanning my back (my front is a zillion billion times more tanned than my back, I can lay out in the sun all day and get no sunburn). And yesterday was a pretty cool day, awesome breeze.

MISTAKE NUMBER 1:


Thinking because my front never burns that my LESS TANNED back will also not burn.

MISTAKE NUMBER 2:


It was windy as f. This meaning that the intense heat from the sun will not affect me. Sunscreen? What sunscreen?

MISTAKE NUMBER 3:


Already having tan lines on my butt I decided to hike my bathing suit up to make a partial thong to reduce the intense tan lines.

Okay. PALE, NEVER TOUCHED BY SUN, SKIN. OUTSIDE FOR HOURS. WITHOUT THE BLAZING HEAT BECAUSE OF THE WIND...... Any ideas where this is going?

Yes. It is true. My ass cheeks are now FIRE red. It hurts to walk. To sit. To lay down. To wear pants. And to be alive. It is the worst sunburn I have had in YEAAAARS, and I feel so sun stupid. Derp.

Learn from my mistakes. No one wants a sunburnt butt.

1 comment:

  1. Ridiculous story there. What occurred after? Take care!



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