Sunday, July 29, 2012

Do you know what its like?

Do you know what its like, to feel so in the dark. To dream about a life - where you're the shining star? Even though it seems like it's too far away - I have to believe in myself, its the only way. This is real; this is me; I'm exactly where I am supposed to be.. I'm going to let the lights shine on me. Now I've found who I am, theres no way to hold it in. No more hiding who I want to be...

This is me.

I know this sounds so lame but I got so overwhelmingly sad that I am not famous. I know most people who are famous work their assess off to get to that point, but I legit always thought it would happen for me. My awesomeness and my words would get me to where I needed to be. But, clearly, as life goes on I realize that mediocrity is where my life is heading.

And, don't get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with being mediocre. It just was not where I saw my life being. I know that I am young, freshly 22, but this is the most important time of my life. This is when people make things happen and when people become the person they will be for the rest of their lives. It just leaves me asking, is this it? Really?

For the girl who didn't plan her life out, at all, because all I ever knew was fame. It was all I ever saw for myself, and yet I didn't do anything to get it except be myself. Hoping that that would be enough.

It's hard, growing up. Not because of all the things we go through but because of how these things shape absolutely EVERYTHING for the future. And that is so scary. If you did just one thing differently, think about how different your life could be? Freaky, right?

So the moral of this story?

I don't have one. It's life and we aren't supposed to know.

We are just supposed to... live, and hopefully that's enough.

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