Monday, April 16, 2012
missing my princess
Today is the day that breaks my heart more than any other day in the year.
It is a day that I am reminded of every day when I look at my naked self in the mirror and see it tattooed on my rib cage, staring back at me.
Today is the day I lost my dog/sister, Millie.
It is a day that I will never ever forget. Because the thing taken away was just oh so unforgettable. So where do I start? There is so much that I could say..
I immediately went and looked at all the pictures I have, but there aren't nearly enough. If I had a million pictures of Millie it wouldn't be enough to fill the hole that is brought on by her absence. Nothing will.
We have some really great dogs that we got after Millie passed away, and they are amazing and I love them.. but they aren't Millie. Millie literally grew up with me and my sister. She WAS a sister. When we had sleepovers, Millie HAD to be there. Even when we didn't want her there she tried SO friggen hard to be cool and to be one of the girls.
And she wakes up, EFFIN TERRIFIED Runs down the stairs, falls a bit, and whimpers. Waking up my parents who thought someone broke in. hahaha like, seriously millie. suuuuch a good guard dog. the girl was terrified of thunderstorms, fireworks, and circles (especially yoga balls).
I just miss it all. I would literally give ANYTHING to have one last cuddle with her.. Seriously, anything. To snuggle up to that stinky, but amazing, girl - ahh, it would mean everything to me.
I didn't even get to say goodbye. The last time I said goodbye to her, when I was going back to Guelph after Easter to finish exams, she was sleeping and snoring and I gave her a quick scratch. If I had known it would have been goodbye forever I would have hugged her for hours and like, really, I would have never been able to let her go.
Millie was my best friend. And one of the best sisters (you too, brooke) that I could have ever asked for. She was always down to play, or cuddle, or just be there.. That is something that can't be replaced and thus will always be missed. Such a perfect way to grow up.
Gosh, I miss you so much Millie. Today, and everyday.
Forever my princess.