Saturday, February 18, 2012

"stop complaining"

You know what is one thing that people do that isn't fair? When you are feeling sad and someone replies: "yeah that sucks, but you really shouldn't be complaining. There are people out there that have it way worse than you."

It makes me so frustrated, because don't you think that we all know that? Don't you think that we all understand that there is a world out there full of suffering and sadness and hunger and death? We get that. Big time! And we feel so sad about that unfairness.

But that doesn't mean that we aren't allowed to hurt.

That doesn't mean we aren't allowed to feel a little down in the dumps once in a while.

I mean, no one likes a complainer. yes, and I agree that complaining really doesn't get you that far (if anywhere!) But being sad and talking about that is not the same thing as complaining, and I just don't think enough people respect that. What I am trying to say has nothing to do with complaints like "ugh im so fat" or "ugh i have no nice clothes".. but simply emotional things.

It doesn't have to be a competition. If you care about someone, than you should care about the fact that they are hurting. It should not matter whether or not they have it bad, if it feels bad for someone, then it is bad. Nothing more than that.

And sometimes we feel ridiculous for hurting, because we know that life is pretty good to us. But sometimes its just really hard. And sometimes we can't explain it. No one should be punished for feeling sad or down in the dumps..

Think about this: if someone is vocal about being sad - they are probably reaching out for help. Why would you punish them by making them feel shittier than they already feel by telling them that their feelings are out of proportion and totally ridiculous? It's mean.

Just, don't do that.

If you are lucky enough to not ever feel hurt, well then good for you. Just don't punish those who do. Simple as that.

And let me just say that being sad, or even complaining, doesn't mean someone is not grateful! Having a bad day, or a hard time, does not mean that someone thinks that life is unfair or that they don't deserve that life. And if you do feel that way, then you need to either get help (because that means something is probably really wrong) or just get some perspective (because heck, it might make you feel even better!) Look at this picture. It is pretty cool, it says nothing about being stupid because you are sad - but it just kind of helps to show you how lucky we are to live in a place where we live and have the resources we have. We can feel emotionally sad but that doesn't mean we don't understand how blessed we are in comparison to others in the world.

If someone says the same thing every day, and you offer suggestions to help them feel better, and they don't listen.. Or they keep doing things that they know will end up making them feel shitty, or stuff like that - once again, that is DIFFERENT from what I am saying. Then yeah, tell em to smarten up or shut up! But when someone is having a hard time, give em a little break.

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