Sunday, December 11, 2011

partyin'

Seeing as I have spent the entire day in bed (not kidding, I take occasional pee breaks and ventured out at one point to get ice cream) I feel it is extremely appropriate that I write about partying. Yeah? You cool with that.

I have literally never felt so hungover in my life. And like, that is saying something. Ask Dale, he has seen me at my worst - and this, is worse (probably because it is right now and it sucks). But I HATE this feeling. And the worst part is, is that I wasn't even that wasted. I definitely drank a little too much, but I was in control the entire night.. Got poutine.. and was in bed at a reasonable hour.

But now, ugh.

So I decided to reflect on my partying past.

It is almost just crazy to me to think about myself last year (lol ugh). It actually does embarrass me to an extent. But when I would drink, I would get incoherent. I barely remembered any night, and would do stupid shit for sure. But that was just how it was. I loved it. I really did. And because of that fact, there are no regrets involved.

And then, I don't know what happened or why, but I stopped loving it.

And every time I drank I would get tipsy, yes... But not nearly at the same level I used to. And people noticed. All my "friends" commented on how lame I had gotten, and how I needed to get greasy again. And seriously, this happened a lot. If I said I didn't feel like drinking it was like blasphemy. It didn't even matter that I still wanted to come out and hang out with everyone, if I wasn't getting wasted.. I basically wasn't even welcome. The number of times I was called a pussy by these people for not drinking or for not getting "too drunk" or greasy was really high.

And that sucks, right?

Like.. I can have a lot of fun, and I feel better about myself, when I don't drink hard. I still like to party and get crazy every once and a while, but even then I don't drink nearly as much as I used too. And it makes me feel good about myself. I love remembering my nights and I don't want to go back to those black out times.

And I want to be around people who respect that.

Last night, I had a blast (I mean, like shit! I even wore a revealing top and I got motor-boated by my bff)! I was with my best friends and we had so many laughs. This morning when I woke up I just felt so good about myself and my friendships and I thought to myself "this is how it should be". I love having friends that I can go out and get crazy with, but who I can also just hang out with and not be a "pussy" for not wanting to get greasy.

It is really crazy how much things have changed. But in a really great way. I am sooo much happier, all the time.

I probably don't party like I used to because I am not who I used to be. There are more important things in life that I like to go after, and I don't deserve to be resented for that. It is really hard for a lot of people I think.. Like, growing up is so hard.. And you know, life changes like this should be celebrated, not resented.

But anyway.

Long story short: HANGOVERS F*CKIN' SUCK!

If anyone wanted to get me a bag of dill pickle doritos..... I'd be so down for that :)

I love you all so much, and I truly want the best for you. And I just really hope that when you party - you can wake up and feel good about yourself! Because what is the point of doing it any other way?