Thursday, November 17, 2011

you're still an innocent

I feel like people go through life judging people on the things they did, or the things they have said. But I don't think that is a very fair measure to judge a person on. We all say and do things that we really don't mean, or that we regret - it's just an inevitable part of life. So how is it fair to judge an entire person based on that? Thats ONE part of their life.

What I have learned growing up and going through everything I have ever gone through is that SHIT HAPPENS. It happens to everyone. So I've realized you can "judge" a person (more so, their character) on so much more than the stuff they go through. you will learn a lot more about a person by how they react, respond and come back from things. Seems easy? Right? But really, not a lot of people do this.

People look at one event, and never give a person a second chance. But people, we are still young, and we are still learning. People make mistakes, or people get themselves into bad situations. But that doesn't mean they are bad people. You have to be careful when associating yourself with people who are so ready to judge others without knowing (or caring about) the whole story - because think about it, if you screw up - they will probably do the exact same thing to you. Its the way they work. It may suck to face that, but you have to make the choice to keep those people in your life or let them go.

They always say that you learn from the past. Well, if that is true - why are we so ready to use the past as a measure to judge someone? A good person is someone who doesn't let the past hold them back, and uses a bad experience to better themselves. They will try to right the wrongs, but they will also let go of the negatives things there too. Life isn't meant to be the easy thing we float through, people will stumble along the way (granted - some people will stumble more than others), but you have to give respect to ANYONE who will pick themselves up again. Because even though their mistake may have hurt you, if the person is willing to pick themselves up - I guarantee you 100% that the mistake hurt THEM more. Because they were willing to look back, see something they caused, and critically analyze themselves. That takes a shit ton of courage to do.

There are some people who are lucky and avoid these slip ups - but no one is perfect (you are naive if you think so). But you never learn life lessons without making some mistakes. Don't let this lull you into a sense of comfort, because at any time - something bad can happen, and you may not know how to pick yourself up from it.

That is why it is so important to not judge people and to understand the strength it takes to come back from a slip up - it may happen to you. These slips and falls suck. No doubt. But in the end, if you let them, they make you a better person. The opposite is true too - they can ruin you - but ONLY IF YOU LET THEM. You have a choice. You can direct your future. You cannot determine exactly where it will go, but you can lead it in the direction you want it to go to.

Most importantly. I want to emphasize that not everything you hear will be TRUE. It takes a really big person to listen to both sides of the story (because no matter what you think - there will always be 2 sides.) Don't be so willing to just believe one person's side because it is a good story and everyone is talking about it. Chances are, there are details left out, or details added. Just because it is a good story, doesn't mean it is a completely true story.

And yeah, maybe you want to end a friendship because of something that was done. That is FINE. It is your choice. Just be mature enough to keep it between you and the "ex" friend. Don't make other people choose sides just because you feel hurt.

Love is louder than the temptation to believe or spread gossip. Rise above.

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