Wednesday, October 12, 2011

You Never Really Can Fix a Heart

We seem to do this crazy thing after we have been broken, where we push everyone away. It's easier like that, right? Because that way - how can they hurt you if they aren't there anymore?

It's like, once you've been hurt you're so scared to get attached again. Like you have this fear that every person you like is going to break your heart again.

You can bandage the damage... but you never really can fix a heart.

And instead of just closing our eyes and falling into what life has to offer.. We stop ourselves. We stop ourselves from living. We are so protective of our hearts, that we end up halting good relationships (friendly or romantic). But regardless. That is STUPID. And I for one, am tired of it.

I am hugely guilty for this crime.

As soon as I feel myself getting involved to a point where I think I might get hurt, I just panic. Not worried, but panicked. It takes over my life for a bit and I find any reason I can to push people away. And if that doesn't work, I attempt to cut all ties. And sometimes that works. But sometimes, it leaves you feeling even worse. A lot worse. It leaves you asking "what if?" and honestly, that is a lot worse than anything. It is the what ifs that keep you up at night.

People come into your life for a reason. Stop pushing them away because you have some issues you need to work out with yourself. People arent always going to hurt you. Sometimes if things dont work out, you can still be friends with the person. Just because it ENDS doesnt mean it needs to end on bad terms.

I'm going to try to just let life happen.

Take what it gives me, and give back all that I possibly can.

Because, how else can we grow? Or move on?


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