Sunday, October 23, 2011

Don't You Ever Grow Up

I'm afraid to grow up:
Sometimes I look at the past and at my childhood,
And I get scared that life is never going to be:
As beautiful. As carefree. Or as simple as it once was.


I remember so many things about being a child:

- Getting my mom to draw cat whiskers on my face to go to school, with no fear of being ostracized, and just being so happy that for one day, because I got to be a friggen cat!
- Appreciating the smallest things that life had to offer me, like skating in the winter (loving the ice rink so much I literally had to kiss it goodbye)
- Trying so hard to win the approval of my other brother's affection
- Drawing boogers on every single picture I ever drew
- Laughing so hard. At everything. Seriously, everything.
(sidenote: did you know, on average a child laughs 150 times a day? Whereas we only laugh about 5 times, and that's on a good day.)
- Trusting my deepest darkest secrets with anyone who could listen, because back then, I really believed that everyone had so much good in them.

But despite all these memories, what I remember the most was wanting to grow up. Now here I am. In this awkward middle stage, almost ready to take the next step into adulthood. But not quite ready yet, because I still ache for the carefree simpleness of youth.

Ironic, huh?

Growing up is hard. There is no way to get around that. We are allowed to ache for the past, but we can't stop living because of it. Let's face the future and all it has to offer head on.

Let's do this: Let's grow up.


Oh darling, don't you ever grow up.
Just stay this little.
Don't you ever grow up...
It could stay this simple.
No one's ever burned you.
Nothing's ever left you scarred.
And even though you want to:
just try to never grow up
Remember the footsteps,
Remember the words said.
And all your little brother's favorite songs.
I just realized everything I have
is someday gonna be gone.

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