Saturday, May 7, 2011

Advice

I saw a video circulating around facebook regarding a girl writing a note to her 16-year old self, giving advice with the knowledge she has now acquired as an adult. I thought that was a beautiful idea, and I wanted to write a letter to girls everywhere. Just giving advice that I would have killed for when I was growing up, stuff I had to learn the hard way. This will be random and all over the place, but take what you can from it.

Everyone starts to date at different times, never feel pressured to go into a relationship just because your friends are doing it. You will know when the time is right... how? Ask your gut. Not your mind, it is very easy to trick yourself into believing something that deep down you know isn't right. That is why you need to look to your gut, when something feels wrong - it will always go into knots. This does not just apply for being ready for a relationship, this applies to when you are in a relationship. If you get that unpleasant feeling in your gut, trust it. Do not act against it, because I can almost promise you - you will later regret it.

Good boys are out there. However, the boys we all seem to pay the most attention to are the boys who will do the most damage to us. The boys who will make us want to crawl into a hole and just disappear. The boys that make us feel so insignificant because for quite some time all we cared about in the entire world was them, and then we find out we meant nothing. Not getting all that you deserve in life is a terrible sadness... a sadness that can last for weeks, months, even years.. it can be a sadness that is impossible to shake off our entire lives. so you know what, take some control and never ever let someone make you feel like you don't deserve the world.

And ask your friends. Seriously. Ask them if they like who you are when you are with the person you are dating. Do not ask them if they like your boyfriend/girlfriend, just ask if they like YOU when you are with them. If you change when you are with them, that is a terrible indication.. and sorry, but you are wasting your time. And the longer you hold on to the relationship and the feelings, the more you will hurt when it all ends.

YOU ARE YOUNG. Please do me a favor and just take advantage of that from time to time. Seriously, it can be as easy and just singing to your favourite artist in the shower, making a goofy prank call or dancing while getting ready for school. Because those are the things that make life a little more fun, and as we get older, it is harder to harness all that amazing energy we have. This may sound crazy and looming, but life is too short to take everything so seriously. Let loose, give in to those desires. I know, you may feel like you are "too cool" and "too mature" to do those things, but you are going to regret it so much when you are older and look back at all those wasted opportunities for youthfulness that you just watched pass by.

When you look back, I promise you the things you will regret the most are not the mistakes that you made. The mistakes you made have made you into the person you are, you took a chance, maybe it failed on you, but look what it taught you. What you will regret is all the times you passed up on an opportunity, because you were scared of the failure - and now all you have is a question of "what if?".... believe me when I tell you that there is nothing more painful then asking yourself that question....

APPRECIATE YOUR BODY! I will never ever in a million years begin to be able to harness in the youth of today and help them realize how beautiful they all are. The celebrities that we idolize? They are NOT the norm. Far from it. And guess what? They have flaws too, lots of them, but the media hides these flaws with photoshop. They are just as insecure as we all are. Just think about all the amazing things your body does. It regulates SO many different things... If our hearts malfunctioned for just a minute, we could die, if our liver wasn't interacting with the rest of the body at all times, we would be very sick. Our bodies are performing miracles at all times of the day - so do not just think of it as this piece of art that you need to sculpt and perfect to please others. Just think about how crazy that is. Be so thankful that you have a body that performs these tasks for you, and treat it well. Do not starve it, give it the appropriate exercise it needs (see above, for dancing while getting ready, a great way to give your body the exercise it needs).

You are not the only one going through these things. There are so many things I struggled with during high school, and even the past few years.. And I just felt so alone. But when having conversations with my friends, I find that most of them went through really similar situations (and they felt just as alone). You may feel like you are alone and no one will understand what you are going through, but I think you would be surprised. And believe me, it feels MUCH better when you are able to talk to someone.

Your parents really do want the best for you. Sometimes it may seem like they are trying to ruin your life... but just remember that they are trying to protect you from all the things in the world that can make you want to give up. When you are older you will understand so much... So appreciate that, and even thank them from time to time. Because there is nothing that means more to a parent than a "thank you" and a "i love you". I really don't think we tell them that enough.

You have no idea the power of a friendly smile. Give them away more often.

Speaking of smiling. Having a bad day? Just force yourself to smile while walking, I swear, it immediately improves the mood.

Friends are very important, but do not underestimate the power of alone time. We all need alone time to just figure out the type of people we really are, and alone time is critical for unwinding.

I just want you all to know that life... its good... no matter how rough things may seem, it'll get better.

Growing up is HARD. But you aren't alone. Not ever.

I have way more advice, but its 1230 am and this is getting long.

There are people out there who love you. Let them.

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