I have been meaning to write this for a few days now, but this is not something I can write effortlessly. This requires my full self, and now that I am done exams, I can finally write it.
What can I say? You were quite honestly the best sister (I know she was a dog) that anyone could ever have had, sorry Brooke ;) But really, I think Brooke would agree that Millie was just as much a sister as I was. Millie was always one of the girls. I can remember NUMEROUS sleepovers, where Millie had to be with us the entire time. She refused to believe she was a dog, she was one of us - and she made that KNOWN.
I just think of all the times when I was so sad, and Millie was there. There is something SO comforting about cuddling with a big ol' puppy. And Millie gave the best kisses. They always meant so much, you could tell that her kisses meant that she LOVED you.
All the pictures I have of me and Millie make me laugh, mostly because she was with us for the most awkward years of my life. See the picture to the right? Awkward emo phase. She was also there for Brooke's mushroom cut phase, my horrible perm phase and there for all the terrible outfit choices I made (zebra pants... like really?)
I have two last "memories" of Millie that really stick out in my mind. The first one breaks my heart into a million pieces, the second one does as well, but for totally different reasons.
The first one was the day I got Paco, March 28 2009. Me and mom went to the pet store, and I had been wanting a chinchilla so badly and researching them, but pet stores basically don't ever have chinchillas, so I wasn't even expecting to find one. I just wanted to go look at cute puppies. But alas, little baby paco was there - so I had to get him... and I remember coming home, and Millie greeted me at the door, and when she sniffed the box and smelt that there was some animal in there... I swear, the look in her eyes was absolutely devastating. I KNOW she felt like I replaced her, and she was so sulky. It kills me. I feel, terrible. But, after Millie died Paco was one of the only things that could make me smile through the tears.
The second memory is the from the last weekend I ever saw her, Easter Weekend. Mom picked me up in Guelph with all 4 dogs, and we headed to the dog park. Millie was SUUUCCCCHHHHH a ham, showing off like CRAZY! She decided to show off and go for a "quick swim", but the current was so strong that it pulled her along. And we watched her face go from so excited, to scared shitless as she headed under the bridge. She got out no problem, but me and my mom probably laughed for a good five minutes. Serves her right. hahaha.
Her death was so hard for me to process, because I was lied to about it... which I understand... but it was hard. I found out Millie was "sick" in the middle of exams, and mom didn't sugar coat it, she was VERY sick. And I cried, a lot. Millie was only 8.. This wasn't supposed to happen yet.. Mom would send me cryptic emails, saying that Millie doesn't seem to be in much pain, and that she is just laying around all day.. I called my mom every day, multiple times a day, just to make her give me a full review on how Millie was doing.. My mom later would tell me those were the only times she was able to keep it together and stop crying. When my parents picked me up from exams on the 18th of April I got the news that Millie had died several days ago. She got pancreatitis and it hit her like a rock. She got sick, and died within a day or two. Absolutely so unfair, and so tragic.
It hurts, and that hurt won't ever go away. Millie was a great dog, and she grew up with me. I don't think a lot of people can understand why I am so broken over a dog, but honestly, every memory I have from age 10 onward involves Millie. All the trips to the cottage, all the sleepovers, even christmas.. It all has Millie, she was a central part of my life.
I want to just point out that Millie was an effin princess. Like, a total bitch. A loving bitch, but definitely a BITCH. But yet, she was by far the smelliest dog in the ENTIRE world. And she was fat haha, like every shirt she wore (Millie LOVED clothes) her fat would just hang out. She got buried in her "It's all about me, deal with it" shirt, which was her favourite, which was hilarious. Because it looked awful. It reminded me of like an obese woman wearing a "This is why I'm hot shirt" hahaha.. like.. it was perfect. Because SHE thought she was beautiful, and really, that was all that mattered.
Anyway, this is long and it doesn't even cover half of what I want to say. If you are reading this far I assume you are a family member and can appreciate all the greatness that Millie brought to our family.
Miss you Stinky-Princess-Millie. Foreverrrrr.
November 9, 2000 - April 16, 2009